Artificial Days of Fucken Worship

Dear Muslims, Seventh Day Adventists, Jews, and anyone else who believes God has a special day of the week JUST for you, I have a public service announcement for you. Your “holy day” is artificial, and you are worshiping a manmade idea.

Humanity made up the concept of time. The calendar we follow was invented by humans. How do we know this with such certainty? BECAUSE IT IS WITHIN RECORDED HISTORY YOU DUM FUCKS! Humans have changed which day is what many times throughout our history. Pick up a fucken book you lazy arsewipe!

Allow me to furnish you with a fun fact, it takes the earth about 365.2425 days to revolve around the sun. As a result, through the last century, the more learned members of the human race calculated that there was a seasonal drift and that the various equinox had actually shifted. You see, 52 weeks of 7 days, and 365 days does not make a perfect year, and a single leap year doesn’t actually fix the problem either. While Pope Gregory XIII planted his fat, intellectually curious arsehole on his pompous throne of religeo-dictatorial authority, he actually managed to do something intelligent; He consulted the minds of Lilius and Clauvius. Together, they devised the Gregorian Calendar.

Do you religious fuckers know what happened next with this example? When the first Gregorian Calendar came into effect, they pushed time 10 days forward. That’s how fucken artificial time is folks. Sabbatarians actually worshipped on a motherfucken, cheap, Tuesday in the 16th Century. The Jews went to their worshiping places, and then came home and ate pizza at half price (Fucken Jews). Muslims paid homage to their god on a “back to fucken work” Monday. That is ONE example of a calendar change of MANY in human history.

What’s the point in all this? Well, there is a bitter irony for my fundamentalist religious friends. For the anti-Christian Jews and Muslims reading this magnificently researched post, you are worshiping your imaginary-fri……..<cough> I mean, god, on a day that was decided by a bunch of fucken pompous Christian bureaucrats. For the anti-Catholic Seventh Day Adventists, you are actually worshiping on an arbitrary day of the week DECIDED BY a papal authority.

So the next time you read a post about how the world is going to shit because people aren’t worshiping on the right holy day, you can educate those intellectually indebted souls that the calendar is entire MAN FUCKEN MADE! Just another piece of evidence showing that your “holy day” isn’t “holy” at all, it’s arti-fucken-ficial.

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